Advice for AfriCANS by an AfriCAN

In my work as a life coach and counselor I have certainly interacted with many Africans from different walks of life. What I have had to painfully come to grips with is the fact that our African culture has by and large molded us to be conservative and unnecessarily impalpable at times.

As such, it is not only hard for us to give love but we also struggle to receive love. We grow up in families and communities where the word ‘LOVE’ is foreign and considered a taboo. Some of us have never heard even our parents tell us that they love us. Growing up, I don’t even recall even my siblings telling me they love me but of course we knew very well how to scold, fight and malign each other. It’s only now after enlightenment that I for one take the onus to tell my siblings or parents that I love them.

The reality is really sad. Even married couples struggle to tell their mates that they love them. As our children grow up to be integrated into the bigger picture of the society all they would have learnt from their parents is how to say ‘pfutseki’. Now that’s sad.

This is to me the major reason why our continent is flooded with hatred, witchcraft, and enmity.

Fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, I wish to let you know that the word ‘LOVE’ is not at all diabolical. If there is any word you aught to use more frequent than any other word, it is this blessed and sweet word, ‘LOVE’. Let love be radiated in our families, workstations, schools and various institutions. You can start to unlearn, learn and relearn now. Find someone you will sincerely tell that you love them today.

Alvin Tofler’s sentiment that, “The illiterates of the 21st century are not going to be people who can’t read or write but those who can’t unlearn, learn and relearn,” rings true and factual to me. Africa, its time for us to Unlearn, learn and relearn.

Love covers a multitude of sins. Love is the thread which has the power to hold us together when every other thing fails. With love, all things are possible. With love, peace prevails. With love, prosperity prevails. With love, unity prevails.

We must let love flood our associations and relationships. In all we do, the common denominator should be love. We are different and we are bound to have diverging positions and preferences but after all is said and done, love should be the glue which sticks us together. Love and receive love. It must all come down to Love.

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